They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
