this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
