Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize