Having a random hookup so left but love u
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
