dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
