in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
