these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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