I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
