You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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