We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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