Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
