before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
