lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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