"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
