my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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