so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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