Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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