HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
