Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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