I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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