why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize