so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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