Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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