you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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