TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
