I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
