I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
