her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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