You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
