I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
