Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize