I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
