I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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