so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
