just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
