Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
