You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
