i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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