Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
