tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize