Betty ford says i'm here all night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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