I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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