So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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