NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
