I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
