Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
