Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
