I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
