You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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