my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
