...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
