dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
