Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize