he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
