i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dignity is for republicans.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
