so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
meet me or not, i'm out of control
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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