Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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