I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
