wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
