I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
