He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize