I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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