Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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