Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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