Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
