I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
