you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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